Regie's Blog

I am not an expert on Hitler. But my father is.

He toured post-war Germany extensively in 1957 and ’58 as a child performer. And he often recounts the stories. He befriended  teenage Lebensborn children (if you don’t know what Lebensborn children are …well …before you post anymore about Hitler you should read about them). He visited an SS widow and got a peek at her husband’s uniform and Luger (that he’d committed suicide with), she had stored in an old trunk, in the attic.

These and other intense experiences in Germany sent my father on a life-long quest to understand this sociopath (Hitler) and the country that allowed itself to be dragged into one of the darkest chapters in world history. My dad is a Hitler/Nazi buff the way Indiana Jones’ dad was a Holy Grail buff.

As the son of a man with this hobby (one might call…

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The Little Kid In Me

If your mother loved you with food, you might become an overweight adult.

In delving deep inside my thoughts and actions I have come to discover one reason why I have extra fat on my body and why I have not been able to release it.

I am a believer in Jesus Christ, Savior of my sins, my Spiritual Leader, my Mentor, my go-to Guy when no one else is listening or dealing with their own issues. We always put Jesus last on our list when we need help and guidance. We can only pray He does not put us last on judgement day.

However, with all the prayer’s I have prayed for help, I had never learned how our minds are developed here on earth by our ancestor’s, our parent’s, all our grandparent’s, aunt’s, uncle’s, people of influence around us. All the nano nerve center’s in our brain’s absorb every thought, every comment, every action of our mentor’s before the age of six!!!

My father was raised as an “untouchable”. Most men in those day’s were. Father’s never touched, hugged, loved you, or said, “I love you” in any form. It was considered a weakness for men to show affection, especially to their son’s. So they did not know how to do it. My father loved me deeply, I know that now.

My mother never said, “I love you”, there were no good night hugs, no good morning hugs or kisses. Of course my mother picked me up in her arms, she bathed me, she fixed my hair and dressed me with all of her love. My mother cooked three meals everyday, every day! I can still smell the warmth coming from the kitchen every morning, of fresh home made biscuits, bacon or sausage, sometimes pork chops or tenderloin, fried eggs, my dad’s instant coffee. On weekends, we had a huge pot of beans on Saturday’s, with homemade cornbread and sides of whatever was growing in the garden or canned in the cellar. On Sunday’s, it would be fried chicken or pork, or beef, with several sides and always bread. My mother was the world’s greatest cook most of her life.

As my parent’s grew older they became more affectionate, they always ruled with looks and sometimes the threat of a switch or belt by my dad. I was afraid of the belt so I behaved the way I was expected to.

It was not until I left for college and work that my mom would hug me when I would leave and when I would return. The only time my dad ever hugged me was when I went forward in church to profess my belief in Jesus Christ and be immersed in Baptism. He also said those magic words, “I LOVE YOU”.

I’m writing this blog to HELP release all the underlying thoughts and/or beliefs that might be holding me back in life. Research shows that we develop most of what rules our lives in our brains before the age of six!

Why does food make me feel so good? Do I reach for food to fill a void that is missing in my life? I never thought I was an emotional eater, because I always had a weak stomach and felt I did not eat when I was feeling emotional. However, the deeper I analyze why I am sticking that cookie in my mouth I have to realize that maybe it’s because that’s the way I felt soothed when I was a child.

My mother loved me more than I will ever know, so there is no doubt left in my mind about that. But I have come to believe that my inner child felt unloved, and now I can still go back to what made me feel love, what was ingrained, intertwined into my subconscious as love.

I can go back to my past feelings of love and acceptance, or I can release all that and replace it with what love really is and only use food as a means of survival, not love.